Clutching too tightly

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Many years ago my son came up to me as fast as 4 year old legs will run. He was hollering out to me, “Daddy, daddy, look!” The enthusiasm of a new discovery was all over his face.

When he reached where I was he opened his little hand to reveal a greenish mud imprint of his hand. It was crisp with every crease of the inside of his palm visible. The finger prints were even perceptible.  His eyes were wide with excitement as he again exclaimed, “Look!” I looked with as much delight as I could muster and said, “How cool! It is an imprint of the inside of your fist!”

His posture dropped a little and his eyes narrowed a bit as he said, “No, it is little baby frogs.”

I looked again. I had to examine what I saw. The outlines were barely noticeable. This “molded earth”  was little bitty baby toad bodies.

Sometimes we hold on too tight.

When our relationships are stressed there is a possibility that we are clasping someone too closely. This is not always the case yet is one cause. Our children need room to breathe and grow.

How can you determine if you are clutching too tightly?

Ask yourself if it is a natural time for them to stretch to fresh horizons.

  • Are they achieving their current chores and tasks consistently?
  • Are they accountable for their current obligations?
  • Do they get some satisfaction in getting their work done?

If the answer is yes to these questions, then it is time for new responsibilities and freedoms. If it would have been yes, though is no longer true, we may have waited too long for the increased independence. This is can be corrected with some discussion, agreement to re-establish the reliability to existing conditions, and trigger points for moving forward.

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About sturner2

I am curious, not fearful or unafraid. I have delivered babies into this world. I have held the dying until their departure. Life, what is if for? What is it about? Do I know or don't I? Knowledge is elusive and never complete. The more I know, the more I know I don't know. My boss once asked me if I knew what I was doing. "No sir," was my reply, "but that has never stopped me before." This is one of those valuable lessons my mom taught me. Just because you don't know doesn't mean you shouldn't. I am willing. I am not always able. I have heard that "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing until you get it right." Here am I, send me. What is there about me that is different than all the rest? Possibly not all that much. I am a soul longing to do more, share more and know more. Born into a body in 1960, my parents raised me and continue to show me. My wife loves me. My children teach me. My friends stand by me. I share in this journey with many others. I am grateful. I have experienced more than 30 years as a husband, more than 30 years as a dad, and more than 30 years in the fire service. I continue to grow, feel and learn; and too, I diminish, numb, and forget. In honor or disgrace, blame or praise, I am prepared.
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2 Responses to Clutching too tightly

  1. It’s funny, but it seems no matter how old you get, you find yourself doing this over and over. I had to remind myself again last week to release my grip a bit. I’ll keep the baby toads in mind from now on, as a reminder. That’s vivid enough to get my attention.

  2. sturner2 says:

    Yes Bill, we tend too. Thanks for the comment.

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